The Top 10 School Grades

There are 12 grades of school depending on where you live. Some are better than others. These are the best ones!

#10 Sixth Grade

I liked the sixth grade. Many different things happened, such as a relative died, a car accident, going to the hospital, my bipolar mother went manic and held up a convenience store where she killed 25 people after a four-hour police standoff, but hey, the 6th grade was pretty fun. Now I have a big daughter and I always hang around knowing she loves 6th grade too. I have finally had the opportunity to chat with my loved ones who have no friends, it humiliates me. Plus my science teacher in 6th grade was amazing! Although she was one of the people who died when my biploar mother robbed that convenience store. Plus, I started a loving and intimate relationship with my math teacher and it was fun.

#9 Seventh Grade

The seventh grade was awesome, at least better than than 6th. I got all A’s except for one B (which was BULLSHIT! I swear I turned that assignment in on time and that horrible English teacher called me a liar! I still hate her to this very day!) I liked some of my teachers and the school was beautiful. My problem was that many of my friends from 6th grade hated me for what my biplor mother did. Many of the victims were their parents, so it was difficult to go to school with them. Moreover, her case got dismissed for some reason and she was free. She was drunk once and wandered to the school and then vomited everywhere. I was bullied alot for that.

But the good thing about 7th grade is that I had my first girlfriend. She had a lot of tattoos, was 25 years old and Russian. I had to give her money every time we were together and she laughed when I told her “I love you.” She went to jail and I think we broke up after that.

#8 Ninth Grade

This grade was my favorite, I don’t know why. So I got to see a lot of people hate me because so much was going on in their personal lives! There was a school trip to go skydiving and some kids got injured because the teacher was drunk. Those kids got put in a special class but they succeed. That teacher was arrested by the police and went to prison with my mother! It bothers me to see people saying that the ninth grade is the worst! I actually don’t know if my words are good because there are as many people who have had as many good and happy times in ninth grade. Except for that thing with the skydiving where two students died and fifteen others were brain damaged, 9th grade was pretty good.

The best thing about ninth grade was that it was at a different elevation so there was lower air pressure. However, it did make me feel afraid of airplanes forever.

#7 Third Grade

Third grade was probably the best. My teacher was the best part because he was 158 years old. He was always entertaining us with stories of all the people he killed in World War I (which he called The Great War because it was great times for everyone I guess). He would say things like: “Dear God we suffered so much. There was never any water. I watched three of my friends die of thirst in that Kraut POW camp. The rest were shot. I escaped by hiding in dead bodies and digging my way out of that mass grave.” But guess what? He lived to teach us third grade. Nowadays teachers can’t tell such fun an interesting stories, nor are teachers allowed to keep order in class with a rusty 1917 German Luger. 3rd grade was good even though I only had one friend, and I’m pretty sure he might have been imaginary. But it was a good year.

#6 First Grade

This was the worst grade ever! Our teacher was so stingy, she didn’t allow my wet nurse to go to school with me so I had to stop breast-feeding during the day. Without that milk I was always having problems. Our evil teacher had a phrase she often shouted of “Children are workers!” We didn’t really have lessons, the teacher just sat us all in front of sewing machines and made us make Nike clothing all day. If you worked to slow then the teacher wouldn’t let you have lunch or anything to drink. We were never allowed bathroom breaks so the classroom always smelled like pee. It was the worst year of my life! I moved to a new school in second grade so that we could be closer to my mother’s new mental institution at that time. That’s the best thing that happened because the first grade was just terrible.

#5 Twelfth Grade

I feel the 12th grade could probably be awesome because with the graduation. There’s all kinds of new memories you can make with friends before you never see them again. There’s also a thing called a “prom” but I’m not sure what that’s about. You have choices to graduate or not or maybe go to college. Of course, I wouldn’t know, I didn’t get to go to 12th grade, so I can’t say if it’s good or not. I saw the movie Risky Business (with my best friend Kylo The Goat) when I was in 11th grade and thought it would be a good idea to turn my parents’ home into a brothel. I made a big mistake, so as a result I stopped attending school. No, I will not do the twelfth grade. I received a GED a few years ago. But from what I heard, 12th is a joke.

#4 Eighth Grade

That year terrified me. But the eighth grade is the year you start building a group of friends and you can start over if you want. Because of what my mom did, killing all those people, my dad decided it was good to change schools for eighth grade. So I was the newest student, and everyone loved me. I had so many girlfriends. It was the best time of my life. So it is way better compared to high school. But the challenge is enough for you to grow. I met a group of friends, we had good times and it was a fun year. Many of the girlfriends I had in eighth grade all had problems with giving birth that year to the particularly disgusting babies I had foolishly put inside of them. My mom did go on another killing spree, but it was only of senior citizens so the kids at school didn’t get too mad at me for it. Graduation was pretty fun.

#3 Fourth Grade

For some reason, I don’t know, my parents sent me to a military school in Bulgaria for fourth grade. They said is was so I could have fun. I didn’t know the language at all so I had no friends and I learned absolutely nothing at all. I don’t know if my teacher was good or bad. I thought he could have been a war criminal but he could also have been a good person, I don’t know. One thing that annoyed me was that my parents sent me to this school in Bulgaria but didn’t give me a place to live. So I spent every night sleeping on the steps of this really old church and eating whatever people gave me. I don’t think I changed my clothes at all. But I came through, now I feel better.

#2 Fifth Grade

The fifth grade was the best because I had perfect grades, great friends and amazing teachers. I was finally back in a country where I knew the language so I was able to talk to people and listen to teachers. Also I had a home again and food every day. One of the most awesome, cool and amazing things about 5th grade is that you are now old enough to legally drink alcohol. The law is that if your GPA falls to D or lower you are never allowed to drink alcohol anymore for the rest of your life. You will have an unfortunate life as you live and die sober. But if you do good you will have the opportunity to drink all you want for like an hour every day. At my school we called it “happy hour” and it replaced lunch. There was no more food for that lunch time, just a wide variety of craft beets. Nobody drinks boring domestic beers, and everyone has a chocolate bar. When I signed up for the “happy hour”, it was September. Three months later it was December. The beers just kept getting better and better. Then they gave us shots of vodka all the time in “happy hour.” I picked it up and loved it, but some of the other children didn’t like it as much. Fifth grade was so much fun.

#1 Kindergarten

In kindergarten, you will use sleep and play with toys. No problem for kids, no tests or homework. For me, the 4th grade was one of the worst years of my life. I was so confused and hungry alot. I was attacked by wolves one time in 4th grade when I was sleeping next to a church. In 4th grade I was the weird, stinky kid that didn’t speak Bulgarian. I still don’t know why my parents did that to me.

But Kindergarten was so much better. There is for making friends easily. Obviously the teacher is forcing you to interact with other people and that you make some friends. Plus, kids won’t bully you because they don’t know any better, they’ll even play with you even if you kill their cat or whatever. Kindergarten is the best time to be young and the best time to be young is when you are under 7 years old. I will continue to love kindergarten until death.